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Posts Tagged ‘rant’

No Ball Games

The emasculation of men is something I have always felt strongly about but after a late night (early morning) conversation with the delectable Dopey Dee (who also blogs at http://dopeydee.wordpress.com/ and has previously covered this topic from a different viewpoint) I have been spurred on to blog about the topic! It also follows on quite nicely from my 50s women post earlier this week, might as well get all the controversy out of the way!

I would like to prelude my rant by saying that when I use the term “real men”, “masculine” and so on I am not referring to abusive, controlling or thuggish men, I am referring to the traditional man; gentlemanly, charmingly chauvinistic, intelligent and ruggedly handsome. It is my opinion that the former type of man is not a man at all, but that’s another post.

Firstly, I like my men to be men, and I’m naturally submissive to them, so I’m biased. I like men who are ruggedly handsome, who can throw me about (in a good way 😉 ),who drink beer and eat raw red meat. Occasionally I want to have to demand that the rugby be turned off for “us” time and when I get out of line I want to be put back in my place. Masculinity is important to me. I want them to be the head of the household, decisive and did I mention ruggedly handsome?!

*pause for drooling*

It would appear, however, that this type of man is a dying breed, and dying fast. Suddenly, with all the PC nonsense going on, “masculine” has become a dirty word. Apparently nowadays women want skinny, well preened, spineless, pseudo-men who keep their balls in glass jars on the mantelpiece. I have a suggestion for you; go out with a woman! Do you honestly want to be in a bathroom battle with your boyfriend before a night out? I don’t understand the attraction to a man who wears as much make up as you, I really don’t get it.

Trying to get back on track though; what is wrong with a strong, confident man doing your DIY for you, paying for the dates you go on, saving you from spiders, wanting you to wear a pretty dress and treating you like a princess? Why does this offend so many people, specifically women, now? It is in no way implying the woman’s weakness or anything else, it is simply a polite thing to do to make the woman’s life a little easier. It shows respect and that you have been noticed and are important enough to warrant an action to show that.
I heard a quote somewhere, I fail to remember the quote exactly but it may well have been spoken by my other half, that went along the lines of “I open doors for women because of who I am, not because of who they are” and I completely agree; by opening a door a man is showing that he is self-less, caring and respectful of women. By being offended you are showing that you are selfish, judgemental  and rude, that of course is just my opinion though, you could just be angry at all men because none of them show you any interest. *prepares for abuse*

My point, I think, is stop wasting your energy being offended that a man wants to help you and be thankful. Be thankful he’s not assaulting, raping or murdering you, be thankful he’s not leering at you while yelling something distasteful about your assets, be thankful that he took some time our of his day to do something nice for you for no reason and give him a smile. It won’t kill you.

Moving on, as I seem to have gone slightly off topic, again! Although it does seem to be a feminist issue. Most men I speak to now say that they are confused about what women want from them, they can’t do right for doing wrong; If they look after themselves and try to be a “modern man” they get told they’re not manly enough, if they’re rough and ready they get told that they’re sexist, it’s a no win situation. I’m trying to avoid saying it but I can’t any longer: we’re different! Men and women are like chalk and cheese, and no one wants chalky flavoured cheese now, do they!

The swing back to macho men seems to be starting though, the reign of Russel Brand and co is, thankfully, coming to an end, but what do women really want? Do you even know yourselves? Have you now decided that real men are, in fact, the way forward or are you just waiting for them to grow their balls back so that you can castrate them again on your next power kick? Ladies, you need to make your minds up. If you want a man who is strong, defends his beliefs and works hard at his career then you need to be the kind of woman that supports him, cooks his dinner and doesn’t demand he check his balls at the door. I’m not advocating being a doormat with no opinions, I’m hardly the person to advocate that, I’m merely suggesting that if you continue to insist on stripping each man you meet of their masculinity then don’t be surprised when there’s no one to rescue you from the castle but you.

(photo credit – Johnny Depp)

(photo credit – Beauty and the Beast)

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I’m living in the 50s

I was born into the wrong decade, I’ve been convinced of this for a while now but as I get older it gets worse! Before I get into this I’d like to add a disclaimer: no offence is intended, I am not a misogynist, I am just passionate and irritated!

I’m a big believer that a woman’s place is in the home, we’ve all seen the “How to be a good Wife” email from the 50s, I believe that. I have no problem with50s cook women that work, especially nowadays most women need to for financial reasons, but given the option I would stay home “playing house” and if I had to work it would be a “woman’s job”. I do not believe that it is possible to “have it all”, either home life or work will suffer and in my opinion it’s a woman’s duty to make the sacrifice. Women are, in most cases, better at housework, better at child rearing and better at all round emotional support and therefore designed for home-making. And do you know what? I am sick of defending that opinion!

(photo credit)

If I wanted to go to uni and get a degree to go out and get a high flying job, everyone would be behind me. I would have endless amounts of support for being independent and strong and making the most of what feminist’s have fought for for years, but when I tell people that I want to go out and find a husband so that I can marry and be a housewife, I’m a disgrace. Apparently by making a choice that goes against conventional opinion I am putting feminism back 50 years. Go figure!

Now I’m no expert, but I thought the suffragettes fought for women to have the right to choose? I was unaware that all the bra burning and such like was so that women had to work, had to be good at DIY and had to be a misandrist. So If I have the right to choose, why am I being told that wanting to live like a 50s housewife is wrong? Are modern women now threatened by real women? Do their slowly evolving balls ache slightly when they see what they gave up to have their powerful career?

If you want to have a career, great, I hope it fulfils you, I really do, but don’t come crying to me when you get symptoms of the menopause and suddenly realise that you want children. You made the choice, live with it. Don’t come running when no man will touch you because you’re so self-centred and career focussed that you don’t have time to cook him a nice dinner. And don’t tell me that I must be bored, lonely and unfulfilled being stuck in the house with just children for company. Stop moaning about the sacrifices you had to make to be successful, men have been doing it for years; missing out on their children’s lives to forge a career. See, not just women who were forced into a box in the past, is it! It is not better to be a man, they do not have it easier, they have it different.

All I want is for when I respond to people telling them my dreams and ambitions is for them to nod and be supportive, as I am with theirs. You can live your life how you want but I will continue to hold my traditional beliefs and I should not be judged for it. When I choose to teach my daughters cooking and cleaning while my sons play football and rugby it is not for you to gossip and say how sexist I am, I am not sexist. I revel in the differences between men and women, I believe they should be embraced and celebrated, that is not sexism. When I choose to welcome you to the neighbourhood with a basket of home made muffins, Bree Van DeKamp style, it is not for you to assume that I have been forced into that way of life by a man. And when I choose to put my husband above myself it is not for you to tell me that I am encouraging men to treat women as slaves and/or objects.

This is my life. These are my opinions, I do not ask you to agree but I do ask you to accept them.

When I am married I will be a 50’s housewife, and that is my choice.

(Photo credit)

This post is for the Writing Workshop I chose prompt number 3: Tell me about a side to yourself that makes you feel a little old fashioned.

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If you’re easily offended or one of the equal rights obsessives, please don’t bother reading the rest of this post!

This topic is one that irritates me greatly; this opinion that people now have that everyone is entitled to exactly the same treatment, opportunities, and whatever else. That is rubbish, always has been, always will be. Like it or not men are better at some things than women, women are better at some things than men, and all individuals have their own areas of expertise. Deal with it.

If you are “lower class” (oh yea, I said it!) and you want to go to university that’s fine, but if you’re not intelligent enough to get in that is not the fault of the “class system” or the university “discriminating” against you, it’s because you’re not intelligent enough. The same applies to all classes, races, sexual preferences and disabilities; if you can’t do the job, it’s not discrimination.

When I was younger I went through a phase of wanting to be a model, hell I’d still do it now if they wanted me, but I’m not thin or pretty enough to be one, and that’s fine. It doesn’t mean that I can go round yelling “discrimination against fat ugly people” because that’s rubbish! People are different and rather than trying to negate those differences by telling everyone that they can be anything, why not just accept them? Nowadays I am dealing with anxiety and depression, they’re mostly under control but still there, when people don’t employ me I don’t cry “discrimination” I accept that, because of my problems, I couldn’t do the job as well as another candidate. It is a sensible, business decision not to hire someone who is prone to taking days off because she’s having panic attacks and such like, you can’t go round hiring people who can’t do the job just because some “Diversity enforcement officer” (or whatever they are) is going to fine you for not hiring them. In doing that, you discriminate against the people who actually can do the job and aren’t in a minority! That’s insanity!

The fact is that people are supposed to be different, that is what makes life interesting and fun, stop using your differences to make money and/or get what you want out of life.

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I’ve started packing! It is progressing slowly. Stuart refuses to throw anything out so, once again, I am having to be more ruthless with my stuff. I’m gradually adding stuff to the sale list which will be going on ebay in the next couple of weeks (once I figure out how to use ebay to sell!). So far the stuff to come with us stands at 9 boxes and that’s only from one and a half rooms, it’s not looking good! Only 4 or 5 boxes in the store pile at the moment and hopefully I will be getting rid of those in a week or two so they will be out of the way. The lounge is a bomb site at the moment, boxes everywhere, stuff that needs sorting everywhere else and the small areas that would be empty are stacked with stuff to sell, it’s a nightmare!

We still have no idea what’s happening with the Guinea Pigs, I’m hoping and praying that they can come with us. On the plus side Stuart has found some lovely houses and we have pretty much decided on the bank that we’re going with. Slowly but surely it’s all coming together. We still have no firm date for the move but by the time Stuart comes back home we should do. I’m hoping it’s sooner rather than later because I’m fed up with the society in Britain and the attitudes held by the people in it, but that’s a rant for another blog.

In Wedding news: One of my Maid’s of Honour and I went to Crewe Hall on official Wedding business last night, it was by invite only, how posh are we?! lol! Jess got to see the hall, and the atrocious new bit that they’ve stuck on the side of it. We both pondered over why on earth they haven’t licensed the beautiful chapel that they have and despaired at how horrendous the new part is and how much it ruins the rest of it. Were it not for the new glass and steel addition to Crewe Hall I think it would be one of our favourites but the more I see the new bit the more I hate it.
Anyway, we saw yet more photographers, bringing to running total up to one million and one, and I am now sold on chair covers which I had already ruled out! Oh, and we’re having a chocolate fountain, because wow was it yummy and it smelled fantastic!
We also got fireworks which were very pretty 🙂 Although I am still undecided as to whether to have anything at all going on at the reception aside from drinking and dancing.

Today Stuart and I have made some decisions on cake and Wedding Breakfast menu  (based on us having the reception at Wrenbury Hall). We have finally been able to compromise on the cake as it was the only thing that we were disagreeing on, now I just have to get the nice lady to design it and give us a price! Hopefully we can book Wrenbury Hall when Stuart gets back and sees just how fantastic it is in real life and then I can start booking everything else too! I’m getting a bit nervous about seeing the Vicar on the 3rd December, he was quite pushy the last time I saw him and I don’t do well with people trying to dictate to me, especially on an occasion that is only going to happen once so it is going to be perfect and no bugger else is going to stop it! It’s our Wedding, not his, if he wants this that and the bloody other, he can get married again! Sorry, rant over!

In health news, I am not sleeping very well at all. Well…that may not be entirely accurate, I am sleeping well once I get to sleep, it’s just that I’m not getting to sleep until 5 or 6 am! I think it’s partly due to running on Mexican time so that I get to talk to Stuart and I really hope it sorts itself out once he’s back because it’s driving me insane and means I’m not getting up ’til 2 or 3 pm. That in turn is affecting my eating meaning that I’m only eating one meal a day because I’ve slept through breakfast and lunch, the joys of long distance relationships. Do you know what my advice is? Don’t do it! Either move with them or break up, it’s not worth it.

Oh, telly wise I am shocked and appalled that Jamie Afro is no longer in X factor, he was my favourite to win. So now I’m a Jedward supporter 100% Go twins, you rock!
I was really looking forward to I’m a Celebrity get me out of here and enjoyed the first episode, Stuart to win! But I am now boycotting because they’ve put that tramp who calls herself a mother back in and I refuse to have everyone of my senses offended by trash like that.

Right, I’m feeling like I’m rambling now so I’ll shut up!

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Feminism vs University

I had a shockingly terrible day today 😦 So I’m going to share, because I’m nice like that!

This morning my mother and I were discussing the wedding, this stressed me out loads to start off the day with because she is taking over completely and trying to do everything, and her way. I was having a fabulous time planning the wedding on my own, obviously with help from Stuart, but it was great. I was loving organising everything, making appointments, budgeting (I know, I was enjoying budgeting!) and doing everything else weddingy and planningy. However, now I am stressed to high heaven and ready to either call the whole thing off or just go to a registry office, just the two of us, and get it over with. I just want to marry the man of my dreams, I don’t want some big, flash, fancy wedding, even with unlimited money I would not do much different to how we have it so far. Anyway, Stuart phoned her to tell her to back off, I’m not sure if she will listen, or understand, but we can hope.

After this Jess popped round briefly to pick up my sexy thigh high boots so she can sass up her Rocky Horror Show outfit! Suey came to take my mum out for lunch and I headed off to the train station to get to uni. I waited at the train station for about 20 minutes and the train never came, I wandered home to check if it had been cancelled, nothing online, so I checked the next trains and it got me in late. I phoned my mum to get a lift, no answer, so I had no choice but to get the later train, as a result I was 40 minutes late for my lecture and crying. I sat outside waiting for it to finish and went in to talk to the lecturer. The lecture theatre was full with about 100 people so I was pretty glad that I missed it because there is no way I would have sat in there for an hour. I had a chat to the lecturer who said they didn’t do anything anyway aside from give out, yet more, information that is available online. So home I came feeling like shit, holding back tears and beating myself up for being such a failure (for going to uni, not for being late).

Now I shall explain why. I am the anti-feminist. I would give back the vote tomorrow, I don’t think women should be allowed into Uni, I don’t think they should have high powered jobs and I don’t think that they should have more rights than a man. In my opinion women should be at home, cooking, cleaning and raising the children, there is nothing that could ever compare to that, why would you want to be a “career woman”? I think a woman’s job should be marrying well and making that marriage work, there is nothing wrong with having a man look after you financially if you look after him emotionally, men and women are good at different things for a reason. As such, going to Uni makes me feel like utter shit. I am so out of place, I am not a perfectly preened 20 something who’s out for a career and to make her millions, I’m a dowdy 40 something (mentally!) housewife and mother who’s stressed about making sure her toddler gets his shots and her husband gets his tea on time, and do you know what, I’m proud of that. It’s taken me 10 years to be proud of that and happy with myself and to believe that what I want is ok even if society says it’s not, and I am not prepared to let Uni take that away from me. And when I walk round uni I feel like I am betraying myself and my values and destroying my future. What man would want a woman with a degree and a high powered career? I sure as hell wouldn’t.

Please keep the offensive posts to a minimum folks – I am expecting some!

Anyway, the rest of the evening was good, my fabulous friends Bob and Emma came round for dinner and we played some wii and chatted. Good times. Cheered me up no end.

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70 year old mothers

Having watched channel 4’s programme on older mothers I am offended, disgusted and irate. These women insist that they are not selfish and are healthy and responsible but I completely disagree. They are selfish because they have ignored nature to have a career and a “life” and then when they are “ready” they suddenly want to have a baby, well tough, you have had 40 years to have  baby naturally or by IVF and you chose to put your career first, deal with it. On the health front, they may well be healthy at the time of giving birth but the fact remains no matter how long they actually live they will not be able bodied for all that time, resulting in teenagers having to care for their elderly mother, that is just not fair. No teenager should have to care for their parents, least of all because said parent was irresponsible and selfish. Of course should they die before the children are even teenagers then either the children end up being looked after by another family member who did not ask for that responsibility, or they go into care. Are there not enough children in care already? There is no doubt that these women are irresponsible, no women who thinks that having a child or being pregnant is worth the risk to both her own health and the baby’s should not be allowed IVF of any sort, it is naive and stupid and proves that they are not mature enough, no matter how old, to take care of a child.

These women claim that they have waited their whole lives to have a child, well that’s your choice. If you want a child so badly and have done your whole life then why did you not have one earlier? So either you are lying or your career is just far more important, in which case, in my personal opinion, you don’t deserve a child.

Sorry for the rant, I needed to get it out!

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I’m warning you now this is going to be a long post!

Firstly, my 2 step sisters and their families have been here for a week. For the first couple of days we were out and about with them which was good because I’ve been stuck for the past 3 weeks with nothing to do but twitter and sunbathe. It may sound like this is the life, but I tell you it’s not. I can see my waistline expanding and my sanity suffering! Sadly due to there being so many people in the house, 8 to be precise, I was in what is basically the computer room on a useless mattress, I won’t go into it again but see photos from my last post! Basically I have not slept for a week now and am therefore exhausted. Thankfully I am back to a nice, comfy bed again as of last night 😀 Hopefully soon I will be back to my usual self.

Stuart was also here for this weekend which was great 😀 Sadly it went far too quickly and felt like He was only here for one day and not three. On the plus side this next 2 weeks apart are our last due to Italy then I have Him back for August before He disappears to Mexico for a month, then hopefully we will be able to spend more time together again.

I have also come to the conclusion that any more than 2 weeks in France is far too long. There’s only so much peace and quiet, lack of social communication and general basic amenities that one person can stand! I fail to see how they manage to live in the same way that people did hundreds of years ago in the modern age. I cannot understand why people voluntarily live in the middle of nowhere in France. Now I’ve lived in the middle of nowhere in England and that’s not too bad, I’d still rather live in the suburbs, but at least there are people there and the phone always works! Surely the French can find a way to have a working phone and internet connection, even if they can’t figure out that we are no longer in the 1900’s!

Another irritation of mine today is the way older people always tell younger people to travel the world before they settle down. Why? If you want to travel the world, fine, but I don’t! I’ve been to lots of places anyway, why do I need to postpone my actual dreams so that I can do something that I don’t want to just to shut you up? And the worst part of it is the way they tell you that it’s your dream! No it’s not, it’s your dream, if you want to do it, bloody well go but don’t try to ship me off to far flung corners of the globe to white water raft down Niagara falls and trek across the Serengeti when I don’t damn well want to! Traveling is no longer as  difficult as it was when you were a teenager, should I suddenly desire to get a doctor to stab me with needles over and over again just so that I can go and see the pyramids of Egypt then I can grab a flight there and find a hotel, it’s not hard! Also, why are people convinced that having a baby will put your life on hold? With proper organisation you can still travel with a baby/child/teen, so in short, no I will not be traveling before I fulfill my dreams, mainly because traveling is not my dream!

I did have some other things to write about but I feel like I’m going on a bit now anway! So to finish, I have been inspired by Fetish Flame to do a podcast with Stuart. If you haven’t listened to Fetish Flame give it a go, mainly because I’m not going to explain what it talks about on here because it’s a bit naughty 😉 Anyway, I think it would be very interesting to do a podcast in a similar vein but to chat with “vanillas” about the lifestyle and get their take on it. Any thoughts on my random new hobby would be greatly appreciated! Would any of you be interested in it or do you think I should just keep my opinions to myself?!

So, that’s me done for today! Sorry it was so ranty and long!

Update: I realised that it wasn’t really that long so I’m going to go off again! Prepare yourselves!

I had a terrible dream the other night about my wedding. I dreamt that firstly Stuart didn’t wear His suit, He was still smart so it wasn’t a big problem, but odd! The heart breaking part was that at the start of the ceremony over half the congregation left yelling at me how much they hated me 😦 So that was pretty depressing, it has, however, got me thinking about our wedding again. Now pondering some “alternative” ideas that Stuart suggested! I’m such a girl, I really love weddings and all the planning that goes into them and everything!

Another gripe I have at the moment is children’s beauty pageants. There was a story about them on the news last night and it made me so mad. All the mothers who stand there and say that there is nothing wrong with their 8 year olds putting layers and layers of make-up on, skimpy outfits and being judged entirely on their looks, claiming that “it’s good for their confidence.” Rubbish! There is nothing healthy about getting young girls to stand on stage and have people tell them that they’re not pretty/skinny/slutty enough. If anyone so much as suggested that my children entered a pageant I would hit to roof and I know that Stuart would too. Another argument they seem to use to defend their sexualisation of children is that “they like to dress up like princesses.” Now that is true, young girls do like to dress up in their mum’s clothes and make-up and pretend they are a princess, however, they can do that at home without being paraded like dogs. As you can see this is a topic that does really irritate me, mainly because it disgusts me that anyone would want to put their children through that.

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