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Posts Tagged ‘poorly’

Woe is me

As those of you who follow me on twitter will know, I’ve been poorly. For the past 2 weeks my tummy has been gradually refusing more and more foods; initially lactose, then bread, now fish. Alongside the inability to eat, for the past week there has now been gradually increasing pain all around my torso. My back hurts, my shoulders ache, all across my tummy either hurts or aches and my lungs are painful. Surprise surprise this has left me unable to correct my sleeping pattern and has, in fact, made it worse. I can’t get comfy at all and find myself constantly attached to a hot water bottle in an effort to get some relief.

Today I went to the Doctors, so hopeful that he would diagnose something, anything, and I could get on with fixing it. Oh, how wrong I was. “Non specific viral infection” maybe… rough translation: “I don’t have a clue”.
Take paracetamol for the pain he says, 2 every 4 hours with food. First major problem with that, I can’t eat every 4 hours. I’m once a day just to stop my stomach digesting itself. “If it gets worse or doesn’t clear up, come back”. I have a problem with this too: I’ve waited 2 weeks to come, during which it has got worse and not cleared up…
He did, however, offer to put me back on antidepressants, which I politely refused. Although at this moment in time I think that may have been a mistake.

So tonight I find myself exhausted. I am all out of options. Much as I would love to stay in bed all day and sleep when I can and try to get better, I can’t. I have to sort the housework and look after a neurotic guinea pig. The strain is starting to tell though, my legs give way when I walk up the stairs, I’m crying at anything and everything, I’m snappy and irritated,in general I’m not a nice person right now.

So I apologise to all those people who I yell at or offend. I apologise to all those people who are ill with way more stuff to deal with than me and I apologise for taking up your time with this moan but I am really struggling at the moment and I am at a complete dead end.

On a positive note: I have lost half a stone and if I continue as is will have lost at least a stone by my birthday which will mean I’ll be able to fit into my size 12 stuff again. Every cloud!

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01/02 I am officially hating 2010, if it carries on like this it is going to be a horrendous year. Today we took Heidi (the guinea pig) to the vets because she’s had a runny nose and eyes for the past two or three days and has been a bit legarthic. The vet checked her over and found a lump in her cheek pouch and thinks it is either a serious infection or lymphoma, she’s pretty much ruled out a tooth infection as her teeth are so healthy, but has taken some cells from the lump for analysis and given us some antibiotics to give her. I am hoping and praying that it’s not cancer but from what the vet said it sounds like it’s the most likely option given her age and overall general good health. Fortunately she’s eating and drinking ok but I just wish I could make it all better for her, poor baby.

Heidi is the black and white one, the other one is Henrietta

2/02 The vet phoned this afternoon with bad news, Heidi does have lymphoma. We are carrying on with the antibiotics so that she doesn’t catch something else and the vet is looking into options and will phone tomorrow. She didn’t sound too hopeful though and said it was just a matter of when she begins to deteriorate. She did recommend steroids to give her some strength and make her feel better but we’re waiting for tomorrow to find out what other options, if any, we have.

Get praying folks

04/02 The Vet has spoken to an exotic animal specialist from Edinburgh who said the options are steroids twice a day alongside antibiotics, chemo or nothing. After much deliberation on the pros and cons of each option Stuart and I have decided to try her on chemo which involves one injection monthly, the side effects may make her worse but if it is successful then her quality of life should be better for the time she has left. The vet has said we’re looking at about 4 to 6 weeks depending on treatment and things.

05/02 Heidi has had her chemotherapy injection and has been home for about an hour. She seems as well as can be expected, no worse at least. Sadly she’s not eating so we have to syringe some extra calorie food into her mouth and we’ve got to give extra vitamin c in her water but she seems more comfortable. At the moment we have to handle her with rubber gloves on because some of the injection leaked and may be on her skin, it also means that we can’t put her back in the cage with Henrietta either so we’re having to keep them separate for the next 24 hours. I’m hoping against hope that it gives her some strength and quality of life for a little while.

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Well since Helen’s wonderful wedding my Fiance and I have been very busy trying to see everyone and sort everything before He toddled off to Mexico.

Last week we saw our friend Lucy for a couple of hours, it was also Rock and Metal night which we were supposed to go to but sadly I had agonising stomach cramps so we had to cancel 😦 It was nice to see Lucy and chat for a bit though.
On Saturday we popped into Acton Church to have a chat with the Vicar, well we tried, but they were closed! So then we thought we’d pop in to a see a family friend who hasn’t yet met Stuart, but she was out! In fact, aside from a nice night out that evening with a friend who we hadn’t seen since March, we had a fairly unpreductive day! It was great to see Rachel though, we had a lot of catching up to do and had a nice night out and Stuart got to see His friends before he went off to Mexico too.
On Sunday my lovely friend Martin came round and we went for coffee. We hadn’t seen him for ages either because he lives in Bristol now, so we got to have a good chat about very geeky stuff like Cataclysm coming out for WoW! I know, I’m so sad, but it’s good to geek sometimes! Stuart had to dash off a bit later to take Nick (his brother) to the airport so he could fly off to Italy again for work. Then we went to Church for a service (Eucarist), having sat down and just before the service started I had to get out of the Church, so off I went leaving poor Stuart sat there. Fortunately He seemed to quite enjoy the service and it certainly lifted His mood. After it finished He came outside to get me, after I had been standing in the rain and wind for an hour (I know, it was my fault!). We had a chat with the Vicar and he said it should be fine for us to get married there because of my ties to the church. Yay! 😀 After much thinking about why I walked out of the church, I think that it was mostly because of the expectation that you kneel, and partly because of the brainwashing which I sensed coming. I’m not big on the organised religion, and I have to say that standing in the rain at my Gran’s grave just confirmed that I made the right decision in my faith, I’m thinking that I probably shouldn’t mention that to the Vicar though!

On Monday (that would be yesterday) I did most of Stuart’s packing, ironed a lot of His shirts and generally organised the house ready for us to go to the Hotel in the evening. We got to the hotel a little later than planned, about 6, but we still had a fantastic evening with a delicious meal, it was lovely to be able to spend a relaxing evening with my Hubby to be before he left. Sadly He couldn’t have breakfast because His flight was at 6:10 so he left early, however I did have breakfast at about 9:30 and it was very yummy!Us on the train

Our HotelOur roomMe in bed!

I made it back safely on the train all alone too, go me! On my return I found my confirmation letter from Uni and did not deal with it very well at all! I am not even slightly looking forward to it, it’s all bad feelings, fortunately I’m seeing my councellor on Friday so hopefully she will help me deal with it at least a little better. On the plus side, I got to see my good friend Sami, who is also going to be my Maid of Honour 😀 woo hoo! Sadly she is off to Devon to work in a zoo for a year, will miss her loads! We had a good chat about everything and discussed lots of wedding details, specifically that a Maid of Honour has nothing to do with milking, bonnets or aprons!

Finally I’m sending big hugs and kisses and lots of love to my wonderful step-dad, Bill, who is in hospital at the moment waiting for an angiogram to see if his heart needs operating on again (he had a triple heart bypass when he was younger). Hopefully it will all be just fine and he wont need anything doing, fingers crossed everyone!

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Stress free day

After a very rough day yesterday feeling very poorly and faint and absolutely exhausted all day I decided to have a stress free day today. So after popping out to sort out prescriptions and shopping and a bit of housework this morning I have pampered myself with a some hair removal cream, a shower, moisturiser, facemask and general relaxation. Feel much better for it, I have to say. My tummy still isn’t right but heh, I figure if I try to bring my stress levels down at least my body has a better chance at kicking it. That’s the theory anyway!

Loving the book that I am reading at the moment, Chelsea Cain, will be reviewing it soon seeing as I’ve almost finished it. I can’t put it down!

So looking forward to seeing Stuart! My mum is arriving on Friday and then Tuesday we’re off to France! The following Friday I get to see my handsome, fabulous, fella for the weekend 😀 I really can’t wait. The end is in sight and soon we will be living happily ever after together forever.

I think that’s pretty much all I have to say! Houseworking tomorrow so the place is ok for my mum!

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Bloody Doctors

Well off I went to the doctors today for my poorly tummy which has now been playing up for 6 weeks, which is a long time by anyones standards! He took my blood pressure after looking very confused as to where to put and what to do with the armband and spent several minutes pressing my stomach very hard going “does this hurt?” Well yes it hurts, ur digging your fingers as deep into my stomach as you can! I’m going back on Monday to have some blood tests so hopefully it will all be sorted and I can get back to not feeling ill.

New shower is fab, more powerful than the last one. It’s great to be able to stand up to shower again rather than having to master some squatting thing while holding a shower and trying to wash aswell, very complicated!

Getting into my new book now, took a couple of chapters but we’re there now, it looks like it’s going to be a good’un!

I am very glad the rain cleared up after yesterday’s torrential downpour. I love summer, it’s so cheerful and you can do so much more when it’s sunny and dry! Sadly it’s pretty windy and wind is my most hated weather of all time, I could rant about it forever, but I wont! Anyway, due to the sun today I have been able to put my washing out to dry so all is well.

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New shower

Not a lot been going on recently, hence lack of blogging. I have been ill though and am still not better, debating whether to go to the doctors because at the moment I think there is a high chance of the problem being caused by stress.

I need to briefly air my opinion the telly but I promise I will keep it brief: Sir Alan hired the wrong one, as usual. Kate was a far better candidate, organised, responsible, prepared, imaginative. She did a fabulous advert and chocolates and was consistently fabulous through the whole show. Yasmina, however, didn’t even know about her own business, she lied about her success, she didn’t even know the difference between gross and net profit. What is he playing at? Good luck to Kate though for future success. On the Big Brother front, all pretty quiet really. Sophie’s doing well though, very proud that she hasn’t embarrassed herself and is actually coming across very well and quite smart!

Right, back to real life! The plumber came and fitted my new shower tonight, it works, which is fabulous! Will be testing it tomorrow I think. The height will be better for Stuart but I’m not sure if it will be too high for me but we shall see. I have heard from Uni too, they know that I will be joining them on September 21st. It’s all starting to feel very real and I’m getting very nervous. I’m still not sure I should be going at all because I know it’s for all the wrong reasons but if I don’t bite the bullet and go now then I will never do it and I don’t want to regret it. I have no idea what to expect, or if I’ll be any good at it or if I’ll fit in and I don’t know if I want to spend anymore time trying to find somewhere to fit in. I’m think I’m partly worried that I’ll feel a need to change who I am again and at the moment I’m happy with who I am and what I want out of life, more so than I ever have been. Trying not to think about it though or I know I’ll just jack it in again. Other problems in life but if I rant about those I’ll get all worked up again and it’s not worth it. Once Stuart is out of Italy all will be well 😀

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Well yesterday I managed to mow the lawn, which is good because it’s raining today! Aside from that, nothing interesting!
BB update: not a lot going on, aside from Sophie changing her name, legally, to Dogface. Evidently people really will do anything to be on TV, I despair. No self respecting person should change their name to Dogface(or Halfwit as one of the others is now known) but apparently no body respects themselves anymore because that’s just not “cool”.
Anyway, my main news is that last night I went to bed with a book, notably “The Taking” by Dean Koontz, and was reading when I heard noises like footsteps and general creaking like someone was in the house. I got up to investigate, already very nervous due to the terrifying nature of the book, and found nothing, so back to bed I went. I carried on reading, still hearing noises, then the guinea pigs started squeaking, so I’m thinking “oh dear god, there is definitely something or someone in the house,” so downstairs I go again to comfort them and check again, still I see nothing. I shut the kitchen window just in case and return to bed, still noises, eventually they stop and no big scary man tried to abduct me or anything but still a very scary night. Still not sure if it was the scary book playing with my mind or something was going on.
Have woken this morning to a poorly tummy, yet again. This really sucks.

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