I know the title is generic and boring, but I don’t care! Oh, how I wish I’d never opened them!
My Other Half’s ex, the “serious” one, is successfully driving me to distraction and has been doing for the past 3 years we’ve been together, without even having met her properly! I see her very occasionally around town and have met her all of once, that once we were both hammered. It’s all very odd really.
It may be worth noting that she hates me. I did not, in any way, steal him from her; they had been apart for a year before I even met him, but still she hates me and that really confuses me. I’m a nice person, I’d like to get to know her and for us to be able to say hi when we see each other in the street but it’s not going to happen. She ignores both of us when we see her, to the point that we walked past her in a supermarket aisle once and she tucked her head down and shuffled away. Why? There was no horrendous, screaming break up. There was no cheating or disgraceful behaviour, on his part at least. She has a new, long term, boyfriend. So why does she have such a problem with him/me/us?
He was with her for 7 years, that’s a long time in my books, there are people with marriages that don’t last that long! I can’t even put my finger on what exactly it is about her that gets to me, but something really does, and 3 years later it is just as much of a problem as it was when we first got together. It doesn’t help that she looks, and sounds and acts, exactly like Frankie, of Dancing on Ice fame. It also doesn’t help that if I didn’t know she was my OH’s ex I’d be drooling over her, *sigh* life is weird.
Anyway! If anyone has any insights I would be most grateful because I am totally clueless. I have no problem with my ex’s new partners and try to befriend them. Obviously I don’t get on with all of them, but I’m polite to the one’s who aren’t good enough and get on with them for their sake. Having said that I’m also friends with all but one of my ex’s, so maybe I’m just weird? I would really appreciate some help on this because I need to get over it and I am totally confused, have I done something wrong? Am I being insensitive? Please help!
Hmm, I don’t know. How very odd.
I was downright grateful to the woman that took my last ex off my hands!
lol! see now that I could understand!
Could be that she just isn’t mature enough to handle it. some people have a real problem coming to the realisation that they aren’t the centre of that persons world any more even if they are separated etc.
I wouldn’t lose any sleep over it though, at the end of the day does it really matter if your partners ex doesn’t like you?
I agree with Heather… so what even if she does hates you? She’s not still friends with him either, so try and move on from this as it’s not healthy to be worried about it 😉 don’t let her get to you… she’ll only be “winning” think of it that way hehe.
My wee boys Dad does not like me at all… that bothers me as she won’t even be civil! There’s a child involved! I’m not asking to go see each other and bond and paint each others toenails, but civil is required with a child involved in a relationship. She just can’t seem to get that despite Daniel’s Dad agreeing with me and trying to get her to “get a grip” she won’t, so I’m thinking maybe she never will! It bothered me for ages that she hated me… now I’ve just kinda accepted that’s the way things are, and I’ve tried with her, and if she wants to be petty, I’ll be the bigger person and just be nice and civil to her whenever I have to see her, for all of our sakes. I’ll keep the peace.
Make your peace with this situation of your own, you’ll be glad when you do =)
L x
Exes are weird. B’s ex, who, for the avoidance of doubt, dumped him about six months before I met him, got back in touch when she discovered we were engaged, and told him she’d made a big mistake and asked him to take her back….
She lives the other end of the country, about half an hour from where we’re moving to. She’s now married herself and has a baby. I’ve only met her once, but the likelihood is that I will now meet her again. And the thing is I can’t forgive her…
And I think that’s the point. This woman has made no attempt to be nice to you (as B’s ex didn’t, in spectacular fashion to me) and I think that if you’re the sort of person who tries to get on with people, when you meet someone who makes no attempt to get on with you it’s a real slight and you take against them in a dramatic fashion that’s very hard to get over.
That probably doens’t make much sense… but hopefully you know what I mean!
Thanks folks!
Heather: I know, I do need to move on from it but there seems to be something about her. *sigh* I do keep trying to get over it and then as soon as I’m getting somewhere I see her again!
Louise: people are weird, huh! If there was a child involved for us it would be a nightmare. At least D’s dad is on your side when it comes to her.
Plan B: Glad someone kinda gets where I’m coming from! It is a personal slight, I smile and make an effort and she’s all, well, immature!
It makes perfect sense, glad it’s not just me that take things this way! 🙂 Hope you don’t have problems with her when you move