Today was a good day

I’m going for a “does what it says on the tin” post. Today was indeed a good day; I found myself able to eat solid food, I had no bad news and, in fact, had some good news! The down side to this appears to be that, despite being tired and reasonably relaxed I don’t want to go to sleep, or even go to bed. I’m assuming this is because then today will end and tomorrow could well be the bringer of more bad news and I don’t want to take that risk.

So I’m going to focus on the good things that happened today:

I can eat solid food again! Hurrah! Not only that, I can also eat before 6pm which means I had lunch today too! Hurrah again! I swear, food never tasted so good, I don’t remember it all being so flavourful and delicious. I’m still getting some pain when I eat but it’s staying in my tummy so I don’t care, for the first time in 3 weeks I’m not hungry! I no longer have to listen to the rumble of my stomach as it demands food that it will only remove, minutes later, from my body without even trying to digest it. So Hurrah for me and my tummy! Bring on the good food!

There was no bad news today! I think it may have been the first day in 3 months that I have not received bad news and I am over the moon. There were no emotional break downs, there were no heartbreaking phone calls, there were no malicious words, there was peace. As I sit here reflecting on the day I am thanking the Goddess for every second of today, every single second that passed without event, without tears and without news.

There was good news! I told you today was a good day! The good news came in the form of a Wedding Bodice (and skirt, but the skirt is just acceptable) that is perfect for our wedding, not only that, my OH has told me to go and try it on! So I am now enlisting the help of my Maid of Honour, and no doubt several other female friends, to go and give it a twirl! If it fits it will knock about £850 off our Wedding costs – more good news!

Today passed without event, and for me at the moment, that in itself is an event that is going on my calendar.

Read Full Post »

New Year, New Start

Welcome to the new decade people! I spent New Years eve with my very fabulous fiancé and his family at a very fabulous do at Tatton Hall. It was a lovely chance to get all dolled up and of course I got to wear the new dress that Stuart bought me for Christmas and some lovely new dancing shoes! The entertainment was wonderful and 50s themed and the food was delicious, Stuart enjoyed it so much that he finally conceded to going to more nice ‘dos like it which I’ve been pestering him to do for ages! Yay!

In other news, plans for the move to Mexico are progressing, I will be phoning some removal people tomorrow and asking for quotes and it looks like we’ll be off to London to sort visas in a week or so which will be a nice day trip! I’m going to get the ball rolling on moving the girls too, I have the paperwork for them to fill in, just need to ask the Mexican authorities what they need for them and then they shall be sorted. I went to the doctors today to sort out my vaccinations, apparently now they are charging £15 for the honour of finding out what you need doing! Slowly but surely we shall get there! Still no date set as yet but we’re aiming for the end of January!

Warning: Wedding Planning Stuff!
In that time I also need to interview some photographers and videographers for the wedding so that as much as possible is sorted before we go. This week I am hoping Stuart will put the deposits down for the venue and the cake and then I know that they’re sorted and can get the sketch of the cake through So exciting! I can’t really sort the dress til much nearer the time so I know what size I’ll be! I have asked all but one of the bridesmaids now and they have all said yes, I’m asking the final one this weekend and then I can announce it properly. We’re ordering the save the dates once the venue is booked and I’m sending those out with the thank you cards for Christmas presents. Yay!

Read Full Post »

Decisions Decisions

The Wedding planning continues. Having booked the Church on Wednesday we have been viewing the short list of reception venues; Crewe Hall and Wrenbury Hall, having pretty much decided on Wrenbury Hall we found out that they were already booked on our date Super bad times. It was all just going too smoothly!
We are now trying to decide which is more important; the date or the venue. The 21st April happens to fall on a new moon which is mainly why I wanted it and sadly it is the only new moon that falls on a Saturday in 2012. We have pondered bringing it forward to 2011 but Wrenbury is booked up through 2011 already so  that’s pretty much out. At the moment the only solution I can think of is that we get married the week before and have a Wiccan blessing or handfasting on the 21st. I will be running said idea past Stuart tonight and we shall see.

On the bright side, we have sorted the cake. A lovely local lady is making it for us, she will be sending us the design and confirming the price in the next week or so, how exciting! Once we have the date sorted we can put a deposit down on the cake and that will be one less thing to worry about!

Christmas planning has taken a back seat this year due to Stuart and I being so busy with Wedding planning and Stuart working. We only picked up a tree yesterday and haven’t decorated it, or the house, yet, hopefully we’ll get round to that tonight or tomorrow. We still have Christmas shopping to do and cards to deliver and only 2 weeks ’til Christmas! So much to do, I’m not used to this last minute panic!

Read Full Post »

Ding Dong the bells are gonna chime

Since Stuart arrived home we’ve been pretty busy, but I come bearing good news! Having seen the Vicar at the Church we want to get married yesterday we have a set date and time for our wedding! We had a nice chat with the Vicar and it went very well, aside from a brief glitch at the start when he asked about me getting confirmed, so I filled in the Banns application form last night and it’s booked! YAY! We’re looking at hymns and readings now, readings will be more difficult as I want something Wiccan but obviously it can’t be too Wiccan due to being in a church! Fun times! I’m sure I’ll find something, it will just involve much trawling of stuff, but I’ll get there! Stuart is choosing the bible reading, mainly because I have no idea what I’m talking about; we make a great team!
We’re planning to do some florist hunting soon too as so far we have no idea what florist we’re going with or even what flowers we want, aside from Gerbera Daisies. I’m sure Stuart is really looking forward to days spent in florists, not only is He a man but He also has hay fever!

We spent today viewing two reception venues, Stuart hasn’t seen any of them before so it’s all new for Him! We’ve narrowed it down to two possible venues now so by the end of next week we should have decided and hopefully booked! I am also newly armed with some flower information which I didn’t have before so I’ve been pondering flowers tonight. Stuart is totally bewildered by flowers, and the term “Wedding Breakfast”, bless Him!

Ooooh I’m so excited, all the Wedding planning is falling into place now! It’s fantastic seeing it all come together, by 2012 it will be perfect!

Read Full Post »

12 days and counting

I’ve started packing! It is progressing slowly. Stuart refuses to throw anything out so, once again, I am having to be more ruthless with my stuff. I’m gradually adding stuff to the sale list which will be going on ebay in the next couple of weeks (once I figure out how to use ebay to sell!). So far the stuff to come with us stands at 9 boxes and that’s only from one and a half rooms, it’s not looking good! Only 4 or 5 boxes in the store pile at the moment and hopefully I will be getting rid of those in a week or two so they will be out of the way. The lounge is a bomb site at the moment, boxes everywhere, stuff that needs sorting everywhere else and the small areas that would be empty are stacked with stuff to sell, it’s a nightmare!

We still have no idea what’s happening with the Guinea Pigs, I’m hoping and praying that they can come with us. On the plus side Stuart has found some lovely houses and we have pretty much decided on the bank that we’re going with. Slowly but surely it’s all coming together. We still have no firm date for the move but by the time Stuart comes back home we should do. I’m hoping it’s sooner rather than later because I’m fed up with the society in Britain and the attitudes held by the people in it, but that’s a rant for another blog.

In Wedding news: One of my Maid’s of Honour and I went to Crewe Hall on official Wedding business last night, it was by invite only, how posh are we?! lol! Jess got to see the hall, and the atrocious new bit that they’ve stuck on the side of it. We both pondered over why on earth they haven’t licensed the beautiful chapel that they have and despaired at how horrendous the new part is and how much it ruins the rest of it. Were it not for the new glass and steel addition to Crewe Hall I think it would be one of our favourites but the more I see the new bit the more I hate it.
Anyway, we saw yet more photographers, bringing to running total up to one million and one, and I am now sold on chair covers which I had already ruled out! Oh, and we’re having a chocolate fountain, because wow was it yummy and it smelled fantastic!
We also got fireworks which were very pretty Although I am still undecided as to whether to have anything at all going on at the reception aside from drinking and dancing.

Today Stuart and I have made some decisions on cake and Wedding Breakfast menu  (based on us having the reception at Wrenbury Hall). We have finally been able to compromise on the cake as it was the only thing that we were disagreeing on, now I just have to get the nice lady to design it and give us a price! Hopefully we can book Wrenbury Hall when Stuart gets back and sees just how fantastic it is in real life and then I can start booking everything else too! I’m getting a bit nervous about seeing the Vicar on the 3rd December, he was quite pushy the last time I saw him and I don’t do well with people trying to dictate to me, especially on an occasion that is only going to happen once so it is going to be perfect and no bugger else is going to stop it! It’s our Wedding, not his, if he wants this that and the bloody other, he can get married again! Sorry, rant over!

In health news, I am not sleeping very well at all. Well…that may not be entirely accurate, I am sleeping well once I get to sleep, it’s just that I’m not getting to sleep until 5 or 6 am! I think it’s partly due to running on Mexican time so that I get to talk to Stuart and I really hope it sorts itself out once he’s back because it’s driving me insane and means I’m not getting up ’til 2 or 3 pm. That in turn is affecting my eating meaning that I’m only eating one meal a day because I’ve slept through breakfast and lunch, the joys of long distance relationships. Do you know what my advice is? Don’t do it! Either move with them or break up, it’s not worth it.

Oh, telly wise I am shocked and appalled that Jamie Afro is no longer in X factor, he was my favourite to win. So now I’m a Jedward supporter 100% Go twins, you rock!
I was really looking forward to I’m a Celebrity get me out of here and enjoyed the first episode, Stuart to win! But I am now boycotting because they’ve put that tramp who calls herself a mother back in and I refuse to have everyone of my senses offended by trash like that.

Right, I’m feeling like I’m rambling now so I’ll shut up!

Read Full Post »

Missing Him

On Saturday I went to a small Wedding Fayre with my Mother-in-Law (to be!) and had a look around. We had a good afternoon together being girly and we even got a glass of Bucks Fizz out of it (well, she did! I’m still T-total!)! Sadly there was no pretty dresses there because it was small but it was nice to go to one and get an idea of local photographers and we have some ideas for centrepieces now too! Hopefully we’ll get to go to lots more over the next 2 and a half years!

On Monday I went dress shopping with a friend who absolutely hates shopping! It was…an experience! Sadly it ended in raised voices and no dress, although she did get a lovely coat! I’m thinking that I need to learn something from the experience but I’m struggling at the moment, I can’t think of any way at all to make it easier or more enjoyable for her. It made me feel pretty sucky as a friend

Wednesday Cheryl (the Mother-in-law) and I went to see Love Happens at the cinema. It was a good girly evening watching a good girly film, followed by pizza with smoothies and cheesecake good times!

I watched Nick Griffin on Question Time last night, with an open mind I hasten to add. It is worth noting that I am Tory, as is Stuart, and a big believer in family values, kinda fits in with the 1950′s/ M/s lifestyle too! Anyway, back to QT! I thought it was a disgrace, the entire show was used to hurl abuse at Mr Griffin. There was no debate of his policies or political ideals it was an outright attack on him as a person. It would not surprise me if the BNP got more votes in the next election following it and there would be no one to blame but the BBC for treating him so badly and making people feel sorry for him. I found it shocking that one of the women said that she didn’t agree with homosexuality or gay marriage but everyone’s blind hatred for Nick Griffin meant that that was totally overlooked. In my opinion Jack Straw came out of it the worst because he was so vile and unprofessional in his discussion with Mr Griffin, and David Dimbleby disgusted me too as he obviously let his personal views affect what should have been his neutral status.  Having said that, since watching him I have had a look at the BNP’s policies and agree with a fair few of them. I totally understand that the website will publish toned down views but they are policies that make sense and the main parties could do with adopting some of them. Giving Britain back to the British is something that is long overdue after Labour and the PC police have been giving it away for so long. Their education policies  are also mostly excellent, especially allowing competitive sports and sports days again. Essentially it seems that they want to reverse political correctness and that is something that I am all for.
Note: I am not racist, nor am I homophobic (that would be hard when I’m bisexual!)

At the moment, possibly due to hormones, I am missing Stuart so much it’s untrue I miss having Him home, cuddling Him, doing His washing, cooking for Him and being able to be submissive and myself. Apparently 3 months is a lot longer than you would think, still another month to go. I can’t wait ’til He’s back home and we can be sickeningly happy again! On the plus side it’s made us both even surer about our choices for the future because it has proved that we want to be with each other as much as possible and that we are strong enough to be apart, and therefore are strong as a couple. Sadly all that does not bring Him any closer to being home at the moment
Due to the fact we miss each other so much, and the state of the country, we are still looking into moving, although now I have agreed to look at Mexico because that’s where He’s based at the moment, and it looks like it might be for the foreseeable future too. We shall see what happens but it’s looking more and more likely that we will be abroad next year sometime.
In conclusion, I’m weepy and lonely!

Read Full Post »

Gaining a sister

Over the past month or so, you may have noticed, I have been spending a lot of time with a wonderful person, we’ve been shopping, to the cinema, done some baking with her Mum, watched various tv shows at hers and had many heart to hearts It’s been really good and bonding, so much so she’s like a sister, it’s fabulous!
Her real sister has been poorly so I’m sending her get well soons and lots of healthy vibes!

In Wedding news both Stuart and I are sold on Wrenbury Hall as our reception venue, it’s absolutely perfect and beautiful. Obviously when He’s back in to UK we will go and view it so He can see it in the flesh (so to speak) along with some other options. Sadly I missed the Wedding Fayre at Crewe Hall today but we will be going to the one at Wrenbury in January hopefully if Stuart is still in the country!

Life otherwise is still pretty stressful. Am job hunting which in itself is difficult at the moment, it doesn’t help that it has to be in Nantwich because I don’t drive and can’t afford to learn again! The uni situation has yet to be sorted, I’m planning to give it a last shot on Monday and if I can’t do it then I’ll drop out. There was me thinking I’d made all the mistakes I could in my life, but no, evidently I am still entirely capable of making the biggest mistakes ever by going to uni! Anyway, we shall see what happens on Monday.

Read Full Post »

Feminism vs University

I had a shockingly terrible day today So I’m going to share, because I’m nice like that!

This morning my mother and I were discussing the wedding, this stressed me out loads to start off the day with because she is taking over completely and trying to do everything, and her way. I was having a fabulous time planning the wedding on my own, obviously with help from Stuart, but it was great. I was loving organising everything, making appointments, budgeting (I know, I was enjoying budgeting!) and doing everything else weddingy and planningy. However, now I am stressed to high heaven and ready to either call the whole thing off or just go to a registry office, just the two of us, and get it over with. I just want to marry the man of my dreams, I don’t want some big, flash, fancy wedding, even with unlimited money I would not do much different to how we have it so far. Anyway, Stuart phoned her to tell her to back off, I’m not sure if she will listen, or understand, but we can hope.

After this Jess popped round briefly to pick up my sexy thigh high boots so she can sass up her Rocky Horror Show outfit! Suey came to take my mum out for lunch and I headed off to the train station to get to uni. I waited at the train station for about 20 minutes and the train never came, I wandered home to check if it had been cancelled, nothing online, so I checked the next trains and it got me in late. I phoned my mum to get a lift, no answer, so I had no choice but to get the later train, as a result I was 40 minutes late for my lecture and crying. I sat outside waiting for it to finish and went in to talk to the lecturer. The lecture theatre was full with about 100 people so I was pretty glad that I missed it because there is no way I would have sat in there for an hour. I had a chat to the lecturer who said they didn’t do anything anyway aside from give out, yet more, information that is available online. So home I came feeling like shit, holding back tears and beating myself up for being such a failure (for going to uni, not for being late).

Now I shall explain why. I am the anti-feminist. I would give back the vote tomorrow, I don’t think women should be allowed into Uni, I don’t think they should have high powered jobs and I don’t think that they should have more rights than a man. In my opinion women should be at home, cooking, cleaning and raising the children, there is nothing that could ever compare to that, why would you want to be a “career woman”? I think a woman’s job should be marrying well and making that marriage work, there is nothing wrong with having a man look after you financially if you look after him emotionally, men and women are good at different things for a reason. As such, going to Uni makes me feel like utter shit. I am so out of place, I am not a perfectly preened 20 something who’s out for a career and to make her millions, I’m a dowdy 40 something (mentally!) housewife and mother who’s stressed about making sure her toddler gets his shots and her husband gets his tea on time, and do you know what, I’m proud of that. It’s taken me 10 years to be proud of that and happy with myself and to believe that what I want is ok even if society says it’s not, and I am not prepared to let Uni take that away from me. And when I walk round uni I feel like I am betraying myself and my values and destroying my future. What man would want a woman with a degree and a high powered career? I sure as hell wouldn’t.

Please keep the offensive posts to a minimum folks – I am expecting some!

Anyway, the rest of the evening was good, my fabulous friends Bob and Emma came round for dinner and we played some wii and chatted. Good times. Cheered me up no end.

Read Full Post »

Wedding planning and the “U” word

I lead such a boring life at the moment what with having no money. However I am occupying myself with wedding planning! I fail to understand why everyone says that it’s so stressful and you need to delegate, I am loving every moment of it, so much so that I am inventing things to organise, like our wedding website! I already know where I’m getting my dress from, what the bridesmaids dresses look like, who we’re inviting, where we’re having the ceremony and when the date is (unless the vicar changes it when we see him on 3rd December!) We are looking into reception venues and going to view them in December, when Stuart gets back from Mexico. I have chosen my 2 Maid’s of Honour and my other bridesmaids, although I have still to ask the bridesmaids as I haven’t seen them! Hopefully Stuart’s nan will be making the bridesmaid’s dresses, she does it proffesionally and is amazing by all accounts, so that will save us some cash, which will pay for my incredible dress! I have sorted the playlist for the after party as well, although it is currently a day long so it may need cutting! We’re having our friends play and sing at the ceremony so we won’t be having an organist, it’s going to be so beautiful, I’m so excited!

What I am not excited about is uni. In fact I am so stressed I now have a very poorly tummy, a constant headache and am losing my hair I am definitely not dealing with the situation very well. I saw my counsellor again on Friday and am seeing her twice more before I start uni in the hope that she can at least keep my anxiety/panic attacks at bay at least until I get to uni. This all consuming fear is definitely not conducive to getting ready for uni!

Had my first panic attack in months yesterday on reciept of a letter from Uni…this is not looking good

Read Full Post »

I’ve been a busy bee!

Well since Helen’s wonderful wedding my Fiance and I have been very busy trying to see everyone and sort everything before He toddled off to Mexico.

Last week we saw our friend Lucy for a couple of hours, it was also Rock and Metal night which we were supposed to go to but sadly I had agonising stomach cramps so we had to cancel It was nice to see Lucy and chat for a bit though.
On Saturday we popped into Acton Church to have a chat with the Vicar, well we tried, but they were closed! So then we thought we’d pop in to a see a family friend who hasn’t yet met Stuart, but she was out! In fact, aside from a nice night out that evening with a friend who we hadn’t seen since March, we had a fairly unpreductive day! It was great to see Rachel though, we had a lot of catching up to do and had a nice night out and Stuart got to see His friends before he went off to Mexico too.
On Sunday my lovely friend Martin came round and we went for coffee. We hadn’t seen him for ages either because he lives in Bristol now, so we got to have a good chat about very geeky stuff like Cataclysm coming out for WoW! I know, I’m so sad, but it’s good to geek sometimes! Stuart had to dash off a bit later to take Nick (his brother) to the airport so he could fly off to Italy again for work. Then we went to Church for a service (Eucarist), having sat down and just before the service started I had to get out of the Church, so off I went leaving poor Stuart sat there. Fortunately He seemed to quite enjoy the service and it certainly lifted His mood. After it finished He came outside to get me, after I had been standing in the rain and wind for an hour (I know, it was my fault!). We had a chat with the Vicar and he said it should be fine for us to get married there because of my ties to the church. Yay! After much thinking about why I walked out of the church, I think that it was mostly because of the expectation that you kneel, and partly because of the brainwashing which I sensed coming. I’m not big on the organised religion, and I have to say that standing in the rain at my Gran’s grave just confirmed that I made the right decision in my faith, I’m thinking that I probably shouldn’t mention that to the Vicar though!

On Monday (that would be yesterday) I did most of Stuart’s packing, ironed a lot of His shirts and generally organised the house ready for us to go to the Hotel in the evening. We got to the hotel a little later than planned, about 6, but we still had a fantastic evening with a delicious meal, it was lovely to be able to spend a relaxing evening with my Hubby to be before he left. Sadly He couldn’t have breakfast because His flight was at 6:10 so he left early, however I did have breakfast at about 9:30 and it was very yummy!

I made it back safely on the train all alone too, go me! On my return I found my confirmation letter from Uni and did not deal with it very well at all! I am not even slightly looking forward to it, it’s all bad feelings, fortunately I’m seeing my councellor on Friday so hopefully she will help me deal with it at least a little better. On the plus side, I got to see my good friend Sami, who is also going to be my Maid of Honour woo hoo! Sadly she is off to Devon to work in a zoo for a year, will miss her loads! We had a good chat about everything and discussed lots of wedding details, specifically that a Maid of Honour has nothing to do with milking, bonnets or aprons!

Finally I’m sending big hugs and kisses and lots of love to my wonderful step-dad, Bill, who is in hospital at the moment waiting for an angiogram to see if his heart needs operating on again (he had a triple heart bypass when he was younger). Hopefully it will all be just fine and he wont need anything doing, fingers crossed everyone!

Read Full Post »