Let the job hunting commence

Well seeing as the uni situation didn’t work out I’m now in the market for a job. However said job needs to be somewhere small and preferably in Nantwich, so it could be interesting! Fingers crossed though! I’ve started picking someone’s brain about the care industry and am going to pop into the Lady Verdin Trust next week to see if they have any jobs going.

Talking of searching, I’m also house hunting for somewhere for Stuart and I to live in the new year. We still don’t know if we’ll even be in the UK for much longer so that makes it more difficult! Who knew life could get so complicated? I’m hoping that we’ll get to spend Christmas in the house we’re in at the moment though so that we can have a proper Christmas in our own home and say goodbye. I’m so soft and sentimental!

On the plus side, my parents have left the building! Life is quiet again and less stressful again, thank the Goddess! They went on their merry way a couple of hours ago, sadly they took my babies with them so there are no lovely doggies in the house any more, but off they went with their new caravan to Poole and then on to France. I think they’re visiting people on the way to the ferry on Monday. Hopefully I won’t be seeing them again for a long time.
Also, I need an iPod nano for my Mum’s birthday/Christmas present. I keep being outbid on ebay

Also, in my usual over expectant and princessy way I have done an amazon wish list to give people ideas for Christmas presents! The link is on the left so feel free to browse and buy me stuff, how cheeky am I?! It was not entirely my idea, Weewifie whom I follow on twitter (she blogs too) did one and said it was great fun, which it was!

And RIP Steven Gately, I am a huge Boyzone fan and have been since I was a kid and I always loved him. Thoughts are with his Husband, family, friends and the rest of the group, he seemed like the nicest man in the world. Oh, and Jan Moir, shut the f**k up you evil cow.

In telly news, I am loving season 5 of Supernatural so far, seasons 2 and 4 are my favourites so far but it may be a contender! Also really enjoying True Blood which looks like it’s going to be an excellent series, and not just for the fantastic sex scenes! I’m not so hooked on Flash Forward as the rest of the UK seems to be but it’s not bad! Of course, I am hooked on X factor, despite the lack of talent this year! My money is on one of the over’s to win, mainly because they’re the talented ones! I really wish that they could have not put through any of the groups and all the over’s, that would have been much fairer. I was really chuffed to see Robbie back on stage, even if he did look like a deer caught in the headlights, his performance was fantastic although I don’t like the song. This week I really hope Cheryl Cole sings live because I think it’s disgusting that anyone is allowed to mime, if you can’t sing live then you shouldn’t do it at all.

Gaining a sister

Over the past month or so, you may have noticed, I have been spending a lot of time with a wonderful person, we’ve been shopping, to the cinema, done some baking with her Mum, watched various tv shows at hers and had many heart to hearts It’s been really good and bonding, so much so she’s like a sister, it’s fabulous!
Her real sister has been poorly so I’m sending her get well soons and lots of healthy vibes!

In Wedding news both Stuart and I are sold on Wrenbury Hall as our reception venue, it’s absolutely perfect and beautiful. Obviously when He’s back in to UK we will go and view it so He can see it in the flesh (so to speak) along with some other options. Sadly I missed the Wedding Fayre at Crewe Hall today but we will be going to the one at Wrenbury in January hopefully if Stuart is still in the country!

Life otherwise is still pretty stressful. Am job hunting which in itself is difficult at the moment, it doesn’t help that it has to be in Nantwich because I don’t drive and can’t afford to learn again! The uni situation has yet to be sorted, I’m planning to give it a last shot on Monday and if I can’t do it then I’ll drop out. There was me thinking I’d made all the mistakes I could in my life, but no, evidently I am still entirely capable of making the biggest mistakes ever by going to uni! Anyway, we shall see what happens on Monday.

Life is hard…and sucky

Argh!

The entire uni situation is more stressful that I first imagined, all sorts of bad things going on again in my life. Who would have thought something “good” could cause so much shit to hit the fan?

I’ve asked uni if they will let me study from home, they said no because the course requires class discussions, *sigh* who knew? Any way, I am looking into the Open University who do English Language with no requirement to talk to people, this we like! However, this means that I need to get a job which may be a problem if it isn’t somewhere small. I will be applying around my tiny town and praying that people are taking on for Christmas but failing that I think I am royally stuck. And of course the damned government will give me no help because I’m just not failing to function enough.

I feel this turning into a political rant and I can’t be bothered with that!

Anyway, we are looking for places to live now, although now that we’re not stuck in the UK for 3 years because of uni we can move to America ASAP, which is a good thing. The further away I am from Gordon Brown and his idiotic policies the better.

Damnit, political rant again! Sorry!

Feminism vs University

I had a shockingly terrible day today So I’m going to share, because I’m nice like that!

This morning my mother and I were discussing the wedding, this stressed me out loads to start off the day with because she is taking over completely and trying to do everything, and her way. I was having a fabulous time planning the wedding on my own, obviously with help from Stuart, but it was great. I was loving organising everything, making appointments, budgeting (I know, I was enjoying budgeting!) and doing everything else weddingy and planningy. However, now I am stressed to high heaven and ready to either call the whole thing off or just go to a registry office, just the two of us, and get it over with. I just want to marry the man of my dreams, I don’t want some big, flash, fancy wedding, even with unlimited money I would not do much different to how we have it so far. Anyway, Stuart phoned her to tell her to back off, I’m not sure if she will listen, or understand, but we can hope.

After this Jess popped round briefly to pick up my sexy thigh high boots so she can sass up her Rocky Horror Show outfit! Suey came to take my mum out for lunch and I headed off to the train station to get to uni. I waited at the train station for about 20 minutes and the train never came, I wandered home to check if it had been cancelled, nothing online, so I checked the next trains and it got me in late. I phoned my mum to get a lift, no answer, so I had no choice but to get the later train, as a result I was 40 minutes late for my lecture and crying. I sat outside waiting for it to finish and went in to talk to the lecturer. The lecture theatre was full with about 100 people so I was pretty glad that I missed it because there is no way I would have sat in there for an hour. I had a chat to the lecturer who said they didn’t do anything anyway aside from give out, yet more, information that is available online. So home I came feeling like shit, holding back tears and beating myself up for being such a failure (for going to uni, not for being late).

Now I shall explain why. I am the anti-feminist. I would give back the vote tomorrow, I don’t think women should be allowed into Uni, I don’t think they should have high powered jobs and I don’t think that they should have more rights than a man. In my opinion women should be at home, cooking, cleaning and raising the children, there is nothing that could ever compare to that, why would you want to be a “career woman”? I think a woman’s job should be marrying well and making that marriage work, there is nothing wrong with having a man look after you financially if you look after him emotionally, men and women are good at different things for a reason. As such, going to Uni makes me feel like utter shit. I am so out of place, I am not a perfectly preened 20 something who’s out for a career and to make her millions, I’m a dowdy 40 something (mentally!) housewife and mother who’s stressed about making sure her toddler gets his shots and her husband gets his tea on time, and do you know what, I’m proud of that. It’s taken me 10 years to be proud of that and happy with myself and to believe that what I want is ok even if society says it’s not, and I am not prepared to let Uni take that away from me. And when I walk round uni I feel like I am betraying myself and my values and destroying my future. What man would want a woman with a degree and a high powered career? I sure as hell wouldn’t.

Please keep the offensive posts to a minimum folks – I am expecting some!

Anyway, the rest of the evening was good, my fabulous friends Bob and Emma came round for dinner and we played some wii and chatted. Good times. Cheered me up no end.

First Days of Uni

Well it’s Tuesday night (actually, technically it’s Wednesday morning!) and I have done my first two days of the induction week at the University of Manchester. Now before people go accusing me of not being open minded (Sami!) although I was nervous (terrified is probably more accurate!) before I started I was determined to give it a shot and see what happened. I had no idea what to expect really and I was open minded.
Anyway, the first day was pretty nervewracking, Mum came with me and we got the train (fotunately we didn’t have to be there until 2ish so it was relaxed). I’m quite enjoying train journys now, have to say I do prefer them to busses. We got to Picadilly and got the uni bus to the main campus. We had some lunch in the Rock Cafe because we got there early (just in case!) and then found our way to the lecture we needed to be in. The lecture was pretty boring but settled my nerves a bit despite them telling us to buy a book from a shop that doesn’t exist and the general disorganisation. However all the uni students wandering around talking about partying and teenage stuff was getting to me, the whole atmosphere is one of youth and “coolness” and that’s just not me. I’m the first to admit that I’m a grumpy old woman! After the talk we went pretty much straight home because we were both knackered! Sad, after having time to reflect on the day I felt terrible and massively depressed and this resulted in a shocking nights sleep which didn’t bode well for day two.
Day two, today, was horrendous in the morning: the bus was an ass so we (my mum and I) ended up walking from the station in the poruing rain, leaving us both cold and wet for the lecture, which we got to an hour early after much arguing over whether we were going in the right direction or not. We had managed to get a proper map by now though. Waiting to go into the lecture was messing with my head something chronic, looking around there were all these young, hip, fashionable people who want a career and believe in feminism and all that jazz. I felt so out of place and inferior I wanted to cry. Eventually we went into the lecture and everyone quietened down and the teachers started giving their, completely useless and highly boring, talks on various aspects of uni life. I’m hoping that I will be able to avoid uni life so to speak and just be able to go to lectures, grab the work and go, I think if I manage that I will make it through. The problem is definitely with the other students and the fact I feel like a total outcast and completely different to them all because my views and dreams are so blatently different to theirs. We shall see I suppose.
After the never ending lecture we went to buy my books from the shop that Bob suggested and we had a nice coffee and lunch there. It was good to get away from the students, who were all at the student fair, again so I didn’t get brought down.

When I got home Stuart’s mummy dropped off my disney netbook It’s fantastic in everyway and it totally made my day! I have set it all up to be all pink inside too and downloaded all my programmes!  I got to spend the evening with some friends watching Supernatural too which is always great fun! I am loving season 4 so far, excellent story line! Even with Deanbat is forgivable, mainly because we love him!

Tomorrow my mum and I are going shopping because I need some new jeans because my fat thighs are rubbing holes in these ones, as usual! And hopefully I will be picking up an adaptor for my netbook (as it’s american) and a cover for it so that when it is in my bag it will be safe.

I shall rave about my netbook in a later, more appropriate blog post!
Toodles for now!

RIP Patrick Swayze

Patrick Swayze has died :’(
http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/2009/09/14/movies/AP-US-Obit-Swayze.html?_r=2&hp
I loved that guy, and Dirty Dancing is one of my favourite films, and also the film Stuart took me to see on valentines day and the entire soundtrack is “our” song.
He will be sorely missed.

No one puts baby in a corner!

Emancipation Proclamation

I was recently recommended a story by a good friend, it’s fan fiction which obviously made me a little wary! Not only that, it’s Twilight fan fiction (I hate twilight) so I was even more wary! However I put my feelings on these things to one side and gave it a shot, and my god it is fantastic! It’s so well written and the story is incredible!
The story is set in the modern day and it is the story of a girl, Isabella, in America who is born into slavery and lives the first 16 years of her life in terrible conditions in the Swan household. However on her 16th birthday Carlisle Cullen arrives at the Swan household and buys her. The story follows her as she learns to live a different kind of life, and she falls in love with Edward, Carlisle’s son, a ruggedly handsome and totally gorgeous teenage boy! Again, I’m not a fan of the love story to be honest, I hate how it’s all so predictable, but due to the situation and the perfectly written characters it is a totally believable romance. The book will have you laughing and crying and feeling the character’s emotions.
I swear, I cannot rave about this story enough, it should be published because wow! I am really picky with books and this has just blown me away.
Get reading folks! You wont regret it!

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5180793/1/Emancipation_Proclamation

Wedding planning and the “U” word

I lead such a boring life at the moment what with having no money. However I am occupying myself with wedding planning! I fail to understand why everyone says that it’s so stressful and you need to delegate, I am loving every moment of it, so much so that I am inventing things to organise, like our wedding website! I already know where I’m getting my dress from, what the bridesmaids dresses look like, who we’re inviting, where we’re having the ceremony and when the date is (unless the vicar changes it when we see him on 3rd December!) We are looking into reception venues and going to view them in December, when Stuart gets back from Mexico. I have chosen my 2 Maid’s of Honour and my other bridesmaids, although I have still to ask the bridesmaids as I haven’t seen them! Hopefully Stuart’s nan will be making the bridesmaid’s dresses, she does it proffesionally and is amazing by all accounts, so that will save us some cash, which will pay for my incredible dress! I have sorted the playlist for the after party as well, although it is currently a day long so it may need cutting! We’re having our friends play and sing at the ceremony so we won’t be having an organist, it’s going to be so beautiful, I’m so excited!

What I am not excited about is uni. In fact I am so stressed I now have a very poorly tummy, a constant headache and am losing my hair I am definitely not dealing with the situation very well. I saw my counsellor again on Friday and am seeing her twice more before I start uni in the hope that she can at least keep my anxiety/panic attacks at bay at least until I get to uni. This all consuming fear is definitely not conducive to getting ready for uni!

Had my first panic attack in months yesterday on reciept of a letter from Uni…this is not looking good

I’ve been a busy bee!

Well since Helen’s wonderful wedding my Fiance and I have been very busy trying to see everyone and sort everything before He toddled off to Mexico.

Last week we saw our friend Lucy for a couple of hours, it was also Rock and Metal night which we were supposed to go to but sadly I had agonising stomach cramps so we had to cancel It was nice to see Lucy and chat for a bit though.
On Saturday we popped into Acton Church to have a chat with the Vicar, well we tried, but they were closed! So then we thought we’d pop in to a see a family friend who hasn’t yet met Stuart, but she was out! In fact, aside from a nice night out that evening with a friend who we hadn’t seen since March, we had a fairly unpreductive day! It was great to see Rachel though, we had a lot of catching up to do and had a nice night out and Stuart got to see His friends before he went off to Mexico too.
On Sunday my lovely friend Martin came round and we went for coffee. We hadn’t seen him for ages either because he lives in Bristol now, so we got to have a good chat about very geeky stuff like Cataclysm coming out for WoW! I know, I’m so sad, but it’s good to geek sometimes! Stuart had to dash off a bit later to take Nick (his brother) to the airport so he could fly off to Italy again for work. Then we went to Church for a service (Eucarist), having sat down and just before the service started I had to get out of the Church, so off I went leaving poor Stuart sat there. Fortunately He seemed to quite enjoy the service and it certainly lifted His mood. After it finished He came outside to get me, after I had been standing in the rain and wind for an hour (I know, it was my fault!). We had a chat with the Vicar and he said it should be fine for us to get married there because of my ties to the church. Yay! After much thinking about why I walked out of the church, I think that it was mostly because of the expectation that you kneel, and partly because of the brainwashing which I sensed coming. I’m not big on the organised religion, and I have to say that standing in the rain at my Gran’s grave just confirmed that I made the right decision in my faith, I’m thinking that I probably shouldn’t mention that to the Vicar though!

On Monday (that would be yesterday) I did most of Stuart’s packing, ironed a lot of His shirts and generally organised the house ready for us to go to the Hotel in the evening. We got to the hotel a little later than planned, about 6, but we still had a fantastic evening with a delicious meal, it was lovely to be able to spend a relaxing evening with my Hubby to be before he left. Sadly He couldn’t have breakfast because His flight was at 6:10 so he left early, however I did have breakfast at about 9:30 and it was very yummy!

I made it back safely on the train all alone too, go me! On my return I found my confirmation letter from Uni and did not deal with it very well at all! I am not even slightly looking forward to it, it’s all bad feelings, fortunately I’m seeing my councellor on Friday so hopefully she will help me deal with it at least a little better. On the plus side, I got to see my good friend Sami, who is also going to be my Maid of Honour woo hoo! Sadly she is off to Devon to work in a zoo for a year, will miss her loads! We had a good chat about everything and discussed lots of wedding details, specifically that a Maid of Honour has nothing to do with milking, bonnets or aprons!

Finally I’m sending big hugs and kisses and lots of love to my wonderful step-dad, Bill, who is in hospital at the moment waiting for an angiogram to see if his heart needs operating on again (he had a triple heart bypass when he was younger). Hopefully it will all be just fine and he wont need anything doing, fingers crossed everyone!

Helen and Matt’s Wedding

Yesterday was the wedding of Mr and Mrs Davies, aka Helen and Matt, and it was incredible! The boys scrubbed up very well again, and one of our close friends was Maid of Honor and she looked so beautiful!

The service started at 2pm, although Helen was traditionally late, and it was beautiful. The bride looked even more stunning than usual with her hair up and her make-up flawless as she made her way down the aisle. It was the first time that I had seen Helen and Matt together and the first time that I had met Matt but he is obviously totally devoted to her and they are so in love The church itself was very simple but beautiful and the ceremony was lovely. However it did get me thinking about what I want in my ceremony and wondering how much Wicca I can get into a Catholic ceremony! We are planning to go to our local church and have a chat with the vicar about what we want and things, hopefully this coming week.

Back to the Davies wedding! When declared Husband and Wife Helen looked back at the congregation and with a huge smile and some excited hand movements, it was lovely to see her s over the moon.
The reception was at her parent’s house in a huge marquee, again it was all just so Helen, simple, elegant and traditional, aside from the table names which were Transformers! The meal was delicious and the speeches were so sweet, especially the Father of the Bride who was obviously so proud that his daughter had found someone who makes her so happy.

The meal was followed by the opening of a casino at the back of the marquee which, personally, I thought was a fabulous idea. There was no actual gambling, just chips, but everyone seemed to enjoy it very much. The casino was the followed by a band and dancing while everyone, aside from my fiance and I, got drunk!

It was an absolutely beautiful wedding and everyone had a great time, especially me! I just love weddings!